Solomon's Revenge
by Some Random
Summary: Solomon is sick of being called ugly, fat and old...and now...it's payback time...Involves pretty much a lot of the main Yugioh characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Some Random: Hey creepy peoples! Just kidding! Here's another story from the Random and yes, it's a crazy one! Here's the lowdown, I don't own Yugioh, or Paris Hilton. Also, Yami Marik, Yami Bakura and Yami all have their own bodies. Enough of my chatter! Let's do this!**

**Chapter One - Victim Number One...Malik...**

It was a normal everyday happy day...until...until Solomon decided to wreck havoc once more. In the worst possible way...exposing secrets...

Solomon had had enough. Everyone always abused him, called him fat, ugly and **OLD**. It was time for them to pay...

But who to start with? The one with the most embarrassing secret...the one whose secret needed to be exposed the most...Malik...

Malik was happily walking along the road, humming a happy song, when he felt his pocket vibrate...no...it's not something sus...it was his mobile. Taking it out, he placed the receiver to his ear.

"Hello?"

"I know your secret." said a husky voice, an old husky voice. Malik could swear he could smell the old man from right where he was standing and the Moto house was a long way away.

"What do you mean, "I know your secret", old man!" screamed Malik into the phone, "This isn't some lame movie, like that "I know what you did last summer" one!"

"Be afraid, be very afraid. I know your secret **and** I know what you did last summer!" said the voice, and Malik heard insane laughter follow it.

"Bakura, is this some prank? Pretending to be the old fart so that you can tease me about my secret, which only you know. It ain't gonna work."

"What? Oh, damn. Oh well, I tried. Hey, you wanna come over?"

"Uh, I don't know. I think I'm busy..."

"Are you doing what I think you're going to be busy doing?"

"Uh...maybe..." On the other end, Bakura rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'll leave you to that." Bakura said something else, but Malik was too busy looking at the piece of paper sitting on the ground at his feet. There was one thing written on it and one thing only...

**I KNOW YOUR SECRET!!!!**

"Hey Bakura."

"Yeah, Malik?"

"Did you happen to leave a note near me saying "I know your secret" in big red block capitals?"

"Nope. That's not mine. Anyway, I'll catch you later."

"See ya Bakura." Malik hung up the phone and picked up the note.

"Hm. Who could have written this? If it wasn't Bakura, who else could it be? I mean, no one else knows my secret...but if this person knows my secret..." Malik's eyes widened.

"NO! NOT PARIS!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed and ran back to his house as fast as he could. Bursting into his room, he saw that all his pictures had been stolen.

"NO!!!!!! PARIS!!!!!!!!" Malik fell to his knees on the ground, screaming the name of his beloved. Though the feeling was only one sided...

Thinking hard, Malik remembered what he was going to do. And then he thought the most horribliest (is that even a word?) of thoughts. What if the old man...oh no...he had to get to Paris.

Meanwhile...

Miss Hilton was enjoying a relaxing day at her apartment, with a glass of expensive champagne when suddenly something out in the distance caught her eye. Looking carefully at it, she tried to determine its meaning.

"I...know...who...lick...likes...to...watch...you. I...know...who...lives...no, loves...you." she said, reading the sign. A puzzled look came onto Paris's face.

"What?" Suddenly the phone rang but Paris let her answering machine take it. She didn't feel like talking to anyone on the phone at the moment. But then, the **old** sounding voice that came from the speaker made her jump.

"I know…somebody's…secret…that involves…you…"

"PARIS NO!!!!!!!!!!!" she heard somebody scream and suddenly Malik came flying through the window. Paris screamed. Malik screamed. The old man on the phone screamed.

"What are we screaming for?" asked Malik, once it stopped. Paris just screamed again.

"No Paris! Don't do this! I love you!" shouted Malik as he was dragged away by the security. The paparazzi watched eagerly, taking as many pictures as possible. Inadvertently exposing Malik's secret to the world…

Down in his lair, Solomon laughed evilly and rubbed his hands together.

"One down, many more to go."

"Uh Grandpa…what are you doing in the cupboard? Isn't it a little cramped in there?" Yugi's voice came from outside the cupboard.

"Just looking for the broom, to sweep the game shop…" said Solomon, sheepishly.

"Okay Gramps."

Once he was sure Yugi was gone, Solomon laughed evilly once more.

**Some Random: Okay…kinda short…kinda stupid…but you all know that you love me…just kidding…anyway…please review…or you'll find all your beloved shoes missing…as I will have eaten them…but only if you don't review….I love being threatening…**

**Malik: You call those threats? They're the stupidest things I've ever heard.**

**Some Random: What would you know? I bet you don't know more than I do…**

**Malik: Well…**

**Some Random: Oh, shut up.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Some Random: Okay, it's story time again!! Yeah, I am psycho. I once tried applying to a mental hospital but they refused to accept me. Very strange.**

**Malik: They only didn't accept you because you'd probably drive the insane people in the mental hospital more insane then they already are.**

**Some Random: Why are you so mean to me??? WHY!!!!!!! (starts crying)**

**Malik: Oh Ra. (tries to comfort Some Random)**

**Marik: While my soppy pansy of a hikari comforts our insane authoress, there are other things that need to be done. Like the disclaimer. Hit it Ishizu!**

**Ishizu: Some Random would like all present to know that she does not own Yugioh although...no, no way am I saying that. Here, Ryou, consider yourself promoted. (Hands a piece of card to Ryou.)**

**Ryou: (proceeds to read off card) Although she would love to own Malik's sexy ass. And a lot of other things that are higher then the rating for this story is and should not be spoken...like s-e...what? (looks closely at card) Just ignore last part and make crazy arm movements, which I stole off Bijoux.**

**Some Random: No you idiot! You're not meant to read that. And I didn't really steal, I just sorta borrowed. Besides, Bijoux doesn't mind. Anyway, this is going nowhere, so on with the story!**

**Ishizu: About time... (receives a glare from Some Random)**

**Chapter Two - Victim Number Two...MARIK!!!!**

While his hikari suffered public humiliation, Marik on the other hand was having a peaceful day.

"Die Pharaoh!!!!" he shouted, stabbing a knife into a voodoo doll. Fortunately for Yami but unfortunately for an innocent person that happened to be walking past, Marik missed the doll and ended up throwing the knife out into the street, where it stabbed into the aforementioned innocent. Witnessing this act, Marik complained to himself that he hadn't killed the Pharaoh, but congratulated himself on at least harming somebody. Abandoning the voodoo doll on the couch, Marik walked through the house and out the back door. Checking around him to see if anyone was looking, he ran off into some woods out the back of the house. Walking through the woods, he drew out a cigarette and a lighter from his pocket. Sticking one end of the cigarette his mouth, he light the other end with the lighter. Packing away his lighter, he started smoking. Continuing through the woods, Marik stopped when he came to the end.

"My beauties! Daddy's here!!" he shouted out into the clearing. Well, it wasn't really a clearing. What used to be a clearing was full of rows and rows of just one thing. Pot. Yes, Marik's biggest secret was his pot farm. Marik walked down the hill and through row after row of pot, unaware that he was being watched. The old man cackled to himself and rubbed his hands together. Yes, another secret. Time for the pot farmer to pay...

The next day, Marik was sitting in his house, peacefully playing a friendly game of cards with Bakura. Well, if you call a friendly card game one that involves money and other possessions being used as bets. Suddenly, Bakura smelled smoke.

"Hey, is something on fire?" he said. Marik sniffed the air.

"No!!!!" he shouted, running off. Marik returned a little while later, looking rather dejected.

"What?" asked Bakura.

"Burnt...all of them..." said Marik sadly.

"WHAT?!?!?!" Bakura's shocked look was priceless. His shocked look disappeared when Marik held up a muffin tray.

"My...beautiful muffins...burnt...all of them..." said Marik, "ALL OF THEM!!!!" Marik fell to his knees, still holding the muffin tray. Leaning over, Bakura sniffed at the muffins curiously. He picked one up and tried to take a bite. There was a scream of pain and he threw the muffin out the window.

"My teeth, my teeth!" said Bakura, clutching his mouth. Marik looked puzzled.

"You're bloody muffins are rock solid!!!" screamed Bakura, "Do you even know how to cook!!!!"

"I told you, they're burnt." Replied Marik, "And yes, I do know how to cook?"  
"Well, you don't because you're burning a second batch of muffins. I can smell the smoke."  
"Bakura, this is the only batch."

"Then what's on fire now?" Marik's eyes widened.

"NO!!!!!!!!" He screamed and ran out of the house. Bakura looked puzzled and then ran after him.

The smell of smoke was getting stronger the closer he got and Marik's fear escalated. Finally getting out of the forest, he looked down at his pot farm and screamed. The whole thing was on fire. Running down the hill, he found a hose and started spraying water on the fires. The smoke from the burning pot drifted past his nose.

"It's burning, all of it." He said, giggling like a maniac due to the fumes, "Must save it." More laughter echoed behind him. It was Bakura. The two of them both then tried to stop the fires.

Marik walked through his pot, looking to see what had survived.

"I'm ruined." He said.

"It's not so bad." Said Bakura, "At least some of it survived." Marik parted through some of the pot they were standing in, revealing the rows after rows of burnt dead pot bushes.

"Oh." Said Bakura.

"Yeah. Oh." The two stood silent, with Marik in mourning over his pot.

"Who could have done such a thing?" he said, finally. Bakura just shrugged.

"My plan is working perfectly!!!" cackled Solomon in his lair aka. the broom closet, "Now who can be my next victim?" Solomon looked at all the pictures of the Yugioh crew on the wall. The ones with red crosses on them he had already had his revenge on. Scanning the pictures, he finally came to a stop on one.

"Yes, my white haired insane friend." He said, looking at the picture of Bakura, "You shall be the next victim of **SOLOMON'S REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!**" Solomon cackled evilly again.

"Revenge **is** sweet!!!!"

"Old man," said Yami from outside the closet, "What on earth are you doing in there? It sounds like a madhouse."

"Err, nothing." Replied Solomon, doing the shifty eye, "Just, finding a mop to, uh, clean up, uh, the dog's coffee spill from this morning."

"Ah, yes, it's about time somebody cleaned up Joey's mess." Solomon then heard footsteps leaving the room, signalling that Yami had gone.

**Some Random: Well, hopefully these chapters are an okay length for people. Sorry to those that think the chapters so far are too short. They may get longer later, I'm not quite sure.**** Oh and I don't own that semi part about the end of pot farm burning from the movie "Without a Paddle". It's a actually a very funny movie.**

**Ryou: (still reading off card) So thankyou to those that reviewed and...**

**Marik: Now please review...or you shall die a gruesome death and I shall be there to watch you in your final moments, enjoying the bloodshed as the authoress rips you apart, either by hand, by a weapon or her insane logic...**

**Ishizu: Does anyone even take notice of these lame threats? And can the authoress stop stroking Marik's hair?**

**Some Random: Uh, I didn't do anything (shifty eye), what are you talking about Ishizu? And what is this that I heard about my threats being lame?**

**Ishizu: Never mind. Just everyone ignore me, like you usually do.**

**Some Random: No we don't. (does a double take) Hey, did you say something?**

**Ishizu: (rolls eyes)**

**Marik: Anyway, while I convince our authoress to come on a killing spree with me this afternoon, instead of doing her homework, we shall leave you to your lives.**

**Ryou: (**_**Still**_** reading off the card) Thankyou and goodnight. (Does little bow)**

**Some Random: Isn't he just the cutest? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Some Random: Yay! It's chapter three time! Thankyou to those that reviewed, it was greatly appreciated. -**

**Bakura: Are we using big words now?**

**Some Random: You think you're so good don't you?**

**Bakura: I don't think. I know.**

**Some Random: (rolls eyes) I would have killed you long ago, except Random Evil Psycho would have then killed me for doing that.**

**Bakura: Just because I'm so lovable.**

**Some Random: Yeah...right. Anyway, I don't own Yugioh, because if I did, I'd probably become one of the characters and it would be violent, like it should be before bloody 4Kidz got to it...grr...4Kidz...**

**Bakura: Anyway, while the authoress contemplates 4Kidz destruction and conning Marik and possibly Malik into the task, we leave you to read this chapter.**

**Chapter Three - Victim Number Three...Bakura**

While he left Marik to mourn his burnt pot, Bakura headed back up to the house. Checking that Malik or Ishizu or Odion wasn't there, he made his way to Marik's bar fridge. Opening it up, he grabbed as many bottles of alcohol that he could and then ran off down the street. Barging through the door, he then collapsed on the couch. Knowing that Ryou wasn't home, because he was off with Yugi and crew, he then helped himself to the stolen alcohol. Bakura thought over how many times he'd gone to Marik's and exactly how much alcohol he had been able to stash in his trench coat on the way out.

"If I fit more in each pocket, "he said to himself, taking a swig out of the bottle he was currently drinking, "I'll be able to take more with me, and that'll benefit my stash." He smirked, "Excellent thinking Bakura." He said in a pompous tone, "You truly are a marvellous and highly intelligent being." "Why thankyou." He said in his normal voice and laughed.

"I'm free...free as the wind..." he said drunkenly. A little while later, he'd drunk quite a fair bit of the alcohol and was now officially drunk.

"I'll kill you Pharaoh." He pointed in front of him very shakily, "Even if it's the last thing I do." He then collapsed onto the floor, the empty bottle he was holding breaking on impact with the floor.

"Hey, look. The bottle's broken." He said, sitting up, "Better be careful around broken glass." He smiled stupidly. He got to his feet, scratched himself chimp style and then burped. Laughing, he burped again. Bakura then proceeded to burp the alphabet. Once he was done with that, he picked up another bottle and raised it into the air like it a toast.

"To myself, the oh so lovable King of Thieves and my outstanding intelligence." He said, taking a swig from the bottle. He then collapsed.

Several hours later, Ryou was on his way home when he heard strange noises inside the house.

"What on Earth?" he said, opening the door, "It sounds like there's a zoo worth of monkeys in here." He then walked into the lounge room and was shocked. There was Bakura, jumping up and down on the couch wearing nothing but his underwear, imitating a chimp, noises and all. He even had a banana stuck in one ear. There were several bottles of alcohol lying on the floor around him.

"Oh God." Said Ryou, shaking his head, "Not the chimp imitations again. How many times have I told him to stay away from those banana mudshakes? It's bad enough that Odion drinks them, but Bakura?" Ryou did not notice the shiny glint outside, which was the sunlight gleaming off a camera. Hiding in the bushes outside the house, the old man rubbed his hands together, as he took his incriminating video.

"Heh, heh. Won't he surprised when I put this on YouTube?" he chuckled, which soon developed into a maniacal cackle. Ryou looked puzzled for a second. He was sure he'd heard something outside. He just shrugged and went about stopping Bakura from getting even drunker. He might hurt himself.

About mid afternoon the next day, when he was finally sober, Bakura decided to go online and see if there were any new videos on YouTube. When he came to the homepage, he noticed one video in particular.

"An insane sprit's drunken antics..." he said, reading the blurb, "Contains chimp imitations. Hmmm, sounds interesting. It might be a video Malik took of Marik drunk...or maybe the Pharaoh got drunk and little Yugi decided to make a video and put in on YouTube...but the Pharaoh isn't insane..." He shrugged, "Meh, I'll watch it anyway." Clinking the link for the video, he waited for it to load. And boy, did he get the shock of his life when it did.

"Me. Bakura. Monkey Man." Said the video Bakura. That was soon followed by many chimp noises. "Me. Like. Bananas." Bakura watched as the video him shoved a banana in his ear and proceeded to bounce around on the couch.

'Bakura!" came Ryou's voice on the video, "I thought I told you to stay away from Odion's banana mudshakes. You always go like this when you drink them. It's not good for you. Next thing I know, you'll be swinging around on the ceiling fan!" There was a stream of chimp noises before Ryou spoke again.

"Bakura?" His hikari then walked into view, "Oh God." There was then a close up of Bakura swinging around on the ceiling fan, yelling, screaming and making even more chimp noises, with a few other animal sounds and even a few cave man ones thrown in for a good measure. Ryou shook his head.

"Remind me to lock all alcohol cabinets next time." The video ended soon after and Bakura sat there, shocked.

"Who..." he said, "Who could have done such a thing?" His hung-over brain tried to come to an answer but then it realised that that one video would now be seen by people all over the world.

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**" He screamed, getting to his feet and screaming it at the ceiling, his arms thrown into the air, "**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**"

Meanwhile, in Solomon's evil lair...now relocated to another dark space...

"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" he cackled, "Another revenge dealt! I'm sure Bakura will recover from his humiliation...eventually."

"Err...Solomon dude..." came the voice of Joey outside, "Are you like, in the fridge man?"  
"Uh, no." said Solomon, doing the shifty eye, "It's the voice of your conscience. The fridge is out of bounds...the fridge is out of bounds..."

"Okay dude. Man, how come my conscience sounds like the old fart? Weird dude." Solomon then muttered to himself as Joey walked off.

"Mental note. Must find better hideout." He turned to the fridge wall.

"Now, who next?" He scanned through the pictures of the Yugioh crew, which were now taped to the fridge wall. He came to stop on the picture of the white haired hikari.

"I suppose now that I've done Bakura, it's now Ryou's turn." Grinning evilly, he threw his head back and laughed his trademark evil cackle.

"Whoa. Man has my conscience got some problems..." muttered Joey to himself.

"STUPID MUTT!!! CAN'T A EVIL REVENGE TAKING OLD MAN GET ANY PEACE AROUND HERE!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" shouted Solomon and then realised what he said, "Don't listen to the crazy old man in the fridge...don't listen to him..." Joey just shrugged and went into the lounge room to watch TV with Tristan.

"Now that stupid human shaped mutt has left, I can get back to plotting my plan to get revenge on Ryou...sweet innocent Ryou...let's see what I can dig up about him..." Solomon cackled evilly to himself once more.

**Some Random: Okay...Solomon's getting a little insane...isn't it wonderful???? My randomness is back!!!!!! I was on a little none random spell for a while...quite scary I know...but I'm back to be the lovely Some Random...random and psycho as ever!!!!!!!!!!**

**Bakura: Oh Ra.**

**Some Random: And you can just be quiet...I might consider sparing your life and destroying the adoption papers I drew up for Ryou...**

**Bakura: Why would you do that?**

**Some Random: Because then I can have a cool brother...I mean, then I could like, show him off to my friends and crud.**

**Bakura: Ryou's not a pet...**

**Some Random: Who said he was?**

**Bakura: (looks at Some Random)**

**Some Random: What have I done now?**

**Random Evil Psycho: I don't know. But HOW could you be so MEAN to POOR Bakura? (moves closer to Bakura and starts stroking his hair)**

**Some Random: Okay...err...well, that's it for the chapter so...**

**Bakura and Random Evil Psycho: REVIEW OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Some Random: Not what I was expecting but...it'll do. Oh, and sorry this didn't come sooner. I had block exams and I went on a school Ski Trip, which was really fun. But you have your chapter now, aren't you happy? - This is...**

**Bakura: Bakura...**

**Random Evil Psycho: ...Random Evil Psycho...**

**Some Random: ...And Some Random signing out! Hey!!! Who said you two could join in!!!!!!**

**Random Evil Psycho: (shifty eye) err... (starts fighting with Some Random)**

**Bakura: (sighs and shakes head)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Some Random: Okay!!! YAY! IT'S CHAPTER FOUR!!!!!!!!!!! TIME FOR THE RYOU BANANZA!!!!!!!!**

**Ryou: (looks very scared and starts to inch slowly away from Some Random)**

**Malik: Now you've scared him...Oh Ra...and whatever happened to me joining in on these disclaimer comment things? (proceeds to mutter angrily to self)**

**Ishizu: Just because he's jealous.**

**Some Random: Yeah...I mean, who wouldn't be jealous of Ryou? He's so cute...sweet...and innocent...and did I mention that he was cute? (continues on with her Ryou worshipping)**

**Ishizu: Oh Ra.**

**Ryou: I'm scared...**

**Some Random: (is grinning crazily) Oh don't worry Ryou, there's nothing to be scared of! (proceeds to hug Ryou tightly)**

**Ishizu: Right...and am I the only one wondering what has gotten into our insane authoress??? Or are you people out there thinking the same thing? **

**Some Random: (is grinning a grin that is crazy and sweet combined and still hugging Ryou)**

**Ryou: Uh...help...**

**Malik: (grumbles angrily) I'll fix this...just you wait... (Walks off muttering to self)**

**Some Random: What's his problem? He hasn't been hugging Ryou lately! (Hugs Ryou tighter)**

**Ryou: Help...again...**

**Ishizu:**** Well, now we will leave you with the chapter, while I try to figure all this out and try to save Ryou from Some Random...**

**Chapter Four - Victim Number Four...the incredibly lovable Ryou!!!!**

Ignoring Bakura's screaming, Ryou continued to do his homework up in his room. When he had finished, he packed it away neatly and went downstairs to check on Bakura. Finding Bakura missing, Ryou shrugged and went back upstairs. When he reached his room, he proceeded to go on a semi rampage, looking through all his stuff, trying to find one thing.

"Ah hah!" he shouted, when he found his pot cigarette. Lighting it up and inhaling some of the smoke, Ryou settled down on the couch in his room, content and as peaceful as normal. Yes you heard it here folks. Sweet, cute, innocent Ryou Bakura...is a drug addict. (Author's Note: Remember kids...drugs aren't good and this fanfic does not encourage children or adults or teenagers for that matter, to follow in Ryou's cute footsteps and take pot...so all you people out there remember that!!! So no flames about encouraging drugs okay!!!)

Anyway, back to the fanfic...

Suddenly something terrible dawned on Ryou, just as he finished smoking his pot. That very pot he had been smoking was his last. Ryou's eye started twitching involuntarily and he started to shake a little, in a crazy (semi Marik/Bakura/Solomon like) fashion.

Bakura was calmly walking up the front path to the house, after his walk, when he smelt smoke. Looking up, he noticed that the whole house was in flames and sighed.

"Not again." He muttered to himself, "Last time this happened..." Bakura shuddered at the thought of the last Christmas dinner. Last Christmas dinner...yes, Bakura gently drifted into a flashback of that fateful night...

That one Christmas dinner had happened at the Ishtar house and both him and Ryou had been invited. The dinner was cooked by Ishizu of course, as Odion hadn't arrived in time to make it and both Malik and Marik were too lazy to do it themselves. Also Ishizu just didn't trust the two of them in the kitchen, knowing too well that she'd never see it again. That or the prized blender of hers, given to her by Kaiba, would get destroyed, or used to give Yugi a haircut, just like they'd tried to do with the old blender, and the electric mixer. She didn't exactly know how they could have used the electric mixer to give Mokuba a haircut, but somehow they'd succeeded and Mokuba had never shown his face again...until three days later that is...

Anyway, the evening was quite uneventful until after dinner, when Marik suddenly took Ryou away and the two hid in the closet. (No it's not what you think it is.) Ishizu, Odion and Malik hadn't of noticed this, but Bakura had. The two of them had spent some time in there, and when they came out, Marik had said that he'd just been giving Ryou his Christmas present. Ishizu had then scolded Marik for doing such a thing, because she'd planned for all of them to give presents at the one time. Marik had then replied that his had been more important and he had had to give it to Ryou as soon as possible. Bakura then noticed that Ryou was looking a little **too** happy but dismissed the matter when the Christmas pudding had arrived. The night went on as planned and he only noticed that something was defiantly wrong with Ryou when the two of them were on their way home and he'd started **skipping** happily down the street. From that moment onward, Bakura had known exactly what Marik had done to his hikari. Marik had introduced Ryou to drugs, most likely pot as that was what he grew.

Bakura snapped out of his flashback just as something crashed through the window. It was the fridge. Bakura calmly kept walking up the front path, as Joey, Tristan and Duke appeared from nowhere and started worshipping the fridge. He only stopped walked when something else crashed through the window. The TV. Running over to it, he proceeded to start mourning the loss of the flat screen TV, which had provided him so much entertainment, as it allowed him to watch countless embarrassing home videos...even though those had actually been the Moto family's home videos, where he laughed uncontrollably at Yami but that's beside the point. While Bakura was mourning the loss of the TV, Ryou was continuing his rampage inside the house.

"Must...get...more pot..." Then it dawned on him.

"MARIK!!!!" he screamed, and ran out of the house and down the street, headed for one place. The Ishtar house.

"I'm sorry little buddy, but I'm fresh out." Said Marik, trying to extricate himself from Ryou's grip.

"WHAT!?!?!?!?!" screamed Ryou, shaking Marik, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR FRESH OUT????"

"Some crazy guy came and burnt all my pot, dude. So I've got none left. Maybe next week..."

"Next week? NEXT WEEK!?!?!?!!?"

"Uh, yeah..." Ryou screamed and then proceeded to go on a rampage...inside the Ishtar house...

"Ryou no!" screamed Marik, dodging various pieces of furniture that came his way, "Ishizu will kill me if the house gets wrecked!"

"Then get me some pot!!!!" screamed Ryou, grabbing Marik by the collar. The two of them were oblivious to the click sound of a camera.

Solomon chuckled to himself.  
"Now to distribute the photos."

The next day, Ryou sat in class, his eye twitching madly.

"Mr Bakura." Said the teacher, noticing this, "Are you alright?"  
"I'm fine..." said Ryou quickly, still twitching madly, "Just...dandy..." The teacher backed away and dropped the subject. After class, Ryou walked to his locker. Opening it, a flood of photos fell out of it and onto the floor. Picking one of them up, his eyes widened even though one twitched straight after. Those photos were from his discussion with Marik yesterday, and of him rampaging down the street to and from Marik's house. Then he heard someone giggling, but he ignored it. When it got worse, and became laughter, lots and lots of laughter, he followed the sound to the school billboard. His eyes widened (**still** twitching) at what he saw. All across the school billboard where those photos, with large words over the top, saying about his drug addiction. Students were crowded around the billboard, laughing.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed and proceeded to start ripping down the photos. He turned around to the other students, pieces of the photos in his hands.

"Lies...twitch...all lies...twitch...LIES I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!" he screamed at them. They just turned around and walked off, still laughing.

"Why me?" he said, falling to his knees, "Why me? CURSE YOU MARIK!!!! AND THE PERSON THAT DID THIS TO ME..." He continued rambling on like that for several hours, _**still**_ twitching.

In Solomon's lair, now relocated once more...to some other dark space that isn't the fridge.

"MUHAHAHAHAH!!!!" he cackled to himself, "How'd you like that Ryou?" He watched over the surveillance cameras hidden around the school, from the main screen at his lair. He cackled evilly again.

"Hey, what's this?" said the familiar voice of Tristan, "Yugi! I think you have evil giant talking rats under your bed!"

"NO YOU FOOL!!!" shouted Solomon, "I'M NOT AN EVIL GIANT TALKING RAT!!!!"

"Ah Yugi...can you tell your grandpa not to take up residence underneath your bed..."

Turning around under the bed, Solomon then picked up something and threw it at Tristan. There was a satisfying bonk sound as it collided with his head and he fell to the ground.

"Good. Now back to my plan..." Solomon scanned through the pictures, stopping on one.

"Ah yes! Perfect. She'll do nicely." He cackled evilly once more and proceeded to start rolling around on the ground as he did so. Downstairs, Yugi was terrified.

"Maybe Tristan was right. Maybe there are evil giant talking rats under my bed..."

**Some Random: (**_**still**_** hugging Ryou tightly) Well, that's all for this chapter folks.**

**\Malik: (is mumbling to self unhappily)**

**Random Evil Psycho: (walks over to Malik and starts discussing things with him)**

**Some Random: Anyway, thanks for the reviews and please keep reviewing. To those that haven't reviewed, please review and... (noticed Random Evil Psycho and Malik) hey! What are they doing?**

**Ishizu: How should I know?**

**Some Random: (gets tapped on the shoulder and she turns around. While this happens Ryou is taken away from her. When she turns around, she then notices Ryou gone) Hey! Where'd he go?**

**Malik: (opens up his arms for a hug)**

**Some Random: Oh well. (proceeds to hug Malik tightly) Anyway, I wonder who Solomon's revenge will be on next? (cackles evilly, then lets go of Malik as she starts rolling around on the ground still cackling)**

**Ishizu: Has anyone noticed the similarities between Solomon and the authoress? Both insane, both laugh crazily, both...(continues rambling on like that)**

**Some Random: (gets to feet) Alright Ishizu! That's the last straw!!! You're in for it now!**

**Ishizu: What?**

**Some Random: Oh yes, I know exactly how to punish you. How would you like it if **_**your**_**secret was revealed?**

**Ishizu: (has shocked look on face) NO!**

**Some Random: Oh yes, little miss stick up her arse is gonna get what's coming for her!!! (proceeds to laugh evilly and hug Malik tightly at the same time)**

**Marik: (sighs) Ah, that's my girl. (Ishizu, Malik, Ryou and Random Evil Psycho look at him strangely) What?**


End file.
